Woody Windham’s Weblog

Ray and I went to Conder Elementary School in Northeast Columbia and visited Ms.  Matheny’s second grade classroom.  It was amazing how smart these seven and eight year olds were.  I told them I was going to write in my blog about them and then I lost the note they gave me with all the names on it.  I think my dog ate it.  At least that’s what I told Ms. Matheny.  I really enjoy all the homemade thank you notes written by the students.  I read on every day on my Morning show. You wouldn’t think we were last in education if you visited Conder Elementary School.  Thanks to Reggie Matheny.

Ray thought I was going to take the day off today because it was Presidents Day and he was surprised to see me at The Southside Restuarant in Cayce.  I had taken MLK Day off and our company offers you a choice between the two, but after we got to work I realized that everybody was taking both days off.  I’ll know better next year.  It’s a good thing I was there to catch this Rayism.  When we started the show, Sugar Ray wanted to play, “Abraham, Martin And John”  by Dion and he said he had planned on talking about the three men in the song.  I told him that was a good idea except that the song was about men who had been assassinated but if we do play it then a friend of mine, Dick Holler, would get paid because he wrote the song.  Ray said, ”And the song is all about Abraham Lincoln, John Kennedy, and Dean Martin.  Right?  I felt bad about how hard I laughed, but I couldn’t help it.  I said, “Ray!  It’s not Dean Martin.”  He said,”That’s the only Martin I could think of.”  I ended up telling him it was MLK.  I sure am glad I didn’t take the day off.

This one took a week to finish.  On the radio Monday, we were playing a Jim Croce oldie and I noticed that Sugar Ray was Googeling at about the same time the song was running out.  I exited , “That was Jim Croce and Don’t mess around with Jim on Oldies 103.”   Ray jumped in with,”You know, his real name is James.”   “I know.  I said Jim didn’t I?”  “Yeah but it says right here that his real name is James.”  I said, “Ray! Don’t tell me you didn’t know that Jim is short for James.  Ray had the deer in the headlights look. “No.  I didn’t know that.”  “How about Betty?  You knew that was short for Elizabeth, right? “No!”  And then the audience starting calling and it lasted all week.  I’m kind of  glad that Sugar Ray never asked me how Peggy came from Margaret.  I don’t know what classes you would have to miss in order to not learn these things.

I asked Sugar Ray if  he thought that they should make “Waterboarding” illigal.  He asked, “Why would they do that?” I said, “Because it’s torture.”  Ray said, “Torture?  My wife Catherine does it all the time up at Lake Murray.  She can even do it on one knee!”

Today I took Sugar Ray Allen with me to read to the students of the fifth grade at Pontiac Elementary School.  On the one hundreth day of school each year they bring in 100 men to read.  We had a ball.  My book had no ending.  I mean it was a short book  but the ending was a stinker.  So, I gave the kids a chance to make up their own endings and then we all did the Cupid Shuffle.  Even the teachers were doing it.  Then we went to lunch and had School Spagetti. hummmmm.   Ray and I sat with the kids and they were telling me how much they like their teachers,  Miss Floyd and Nikki Williams.  It’s fun to get excited about our young people and our education system.  It makes me feel good about the future.  Here are  the first names of all the children in the class: Michael, Tyra. Robert, Chidi, Ashley, Mark, Katie, Carlei, Anfrene, Dontrez, Chandler, Jason, Peyton, Gary, Rebecca, Jazzmin, Katherine, john, Lucas, David, Madison, Joanne, and Savannah.  It was Savannah who told me there was a mean teacher there, but I never could figure out which one she was. 

On the radio this morning I was telling Ray about the new movie Cloverfield in which a monster comes up out of the East River in New York and tears the head off the Statue Of Liberty and throws it into Manhattan.  Ray said,  “Is it a fiction?”

This morning on my radio show I was telling Sugar Ray why Sunset Boulevard is so-named.  It’s because it goes right into the sunset.  He said, “Why is the sun always in your eyes?”  And when I told him that the sun always sets in the west, he said, “I didn’t know that.  It’s a good thing I’m there for him.

I thought you might like to hear some of the funny things that Ray Allen says in the morning on my radio show.  I will be putting up something from him everyday.  This morning I told him that Led Zeppelin was going to allow you to download their music for the first time and Ray said, “How old is he?